Human Dominates Creepy Things

Since moving to New England each new season has brought it’s own unique battle with creatures I haven’t been accustomed to dealing with in a very long time. I’m happy to say that I am utterly victorious in each of these battles. Five creepy and flying things I’ve taken dominion over are:

1. Mice – a.k.a. poaching fur balls. Although cute and furry, I preferred not to have them as roommates, especially since the freeloaders ate my food and stayed up all night making noise. Sadly for them, I had to give five of them a permanent eviction from life as well as my house. See mousecapades for further details.

2. Carpenter Bees – a.k.a. flying buzz saws. Fortunately, I didn’t have to a extinguish these outside housemates. We came to a mutual understanding of who was really in control of the back patio. On the few occasions when they tested my authority, a gentle swat with my bible was all I needed to get them under control. I have to say, their little bug brains are quick learners.

3. Mosquitoes – a.k.a. flying, itchy, lymes. I’ve taken to squashing every mosquito I see and declaring my body to be a mosquito, tick, spider, bee, and poison ivy free zone.

4. Ticks – a.k.a. blood-sucking, hard-to-smash, defiant specks. Four ticks in one day was enough for the rest of my life. I haven’t seen one since I made that statement. However I still have the hickey the first tick left on my neck two weeks ago.

5. Brown Snakes – a.k.a. garden-dwelling, insect-eating, sunbathing, giant worms. Pretty harmless and easy to kill. Stick a pitchfork in the ground….voila, snake kabob!