Sorry, I Don’t Speak Acronym, I Only Write It

With my ever-increasing dependence on technology as a means to communicate, I’ve realized I’ve had to learn a new language – acronym speak. It seems the more I practice this language, the worse I become at my native American tongue. I prefer the old fashioned way of face-to-face conversation and am grateful for video chats, but that’s not always conducive to my surroundings.

For a long time I resisted the abbreviated techno-geek, no punctuation, no grammar way of texting, but I have to admit it saves time and I’m always in a hurry. Actually, I’m not always in a hurry, I just think I am. I’m really just impatient because I get bored easily. I feel the need to be constantly stimulated by cyberspace information. Come on, admit it, I’ll bet you’ve watched tv while surfing the internet on your laptop and texting someone on your cell phone. And I used to think I wasn’t good at multi-tasking.

So, how do I feel about my new bilingualism? FWIW AFAICT SSEWBA. BWDIK DBEYR.

BFN

Freak Magnet Theory

There are a lot of freaky people in the world and somehow I have a talent for attracting them. Those of you who are also freak magnets can attest that for whatever reason, when in a crowded place, the freaks will make a beeline towards you. I call this my freak magnetism. It’s not that I’m complaining about it, I just find it unusual that’s all. It’s almost as if there’s some unseen force that’s telling them to go to Diana, ignore everyone else in the room and go directly towards her.

I can’t tell you how may times I’ve been in a check-out line minding my own business, when out of the blue, some strange person approaches me to tell me their whole life story, including some of their most intimate and awkward details. When this first started happening, or I should say, before I became aware of my magnetism, I used to look for hidden cameras, thinking that someone was playing a practical joke on me. I’ve had some rather unusual conversations that made no sense whatsoever which often had me questioning whether I was really having a conversation or still at home dreaming up the conversation in my sleep.

Nowadays, I don’t really think too much about being approached by weirdo's because I’ve accepted the fact that my freak magnetism is a gift. My theory is that freaks are drawn towards people like me because in all honesty, I find them fascinating and I’m sure they don’t feel threatened by me. Think of how boring our world would be if it weren’t for the occasional weirdo that crossed our path to make our day interesting. And who’s to say that the weirdo's aren’t the normal ones and we’re all insane.

Confessions of a Caffeine Addict

Hi, my name is Diana and I’m addicted to caffeine. I’m utterly powerless against the ability to completely refrain from consuming all items that contain caffeine. They say that the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. Now I’m not denying my addiction, but in all honesty I have been in denial about my ability to stay off the stuff. I suspect that in this Starbucks generation there are a lot of people that are in the same boat as me but just not willing to admit it or do anything about it.

What is it about caffeine that people don’t take you seriously when you tell them you’re an addict? Is it because it’s considered cool to meet friends for a coffee date? Or is it that it’s readily accessible to anyone for consumption because most beverages, not to mention chocolate, contain caffeine?

When I tell people that I’m addicted to caffeine their first question is how much to you drink each day? When I tell them one just one cup of coffee they usually chuckle and then ask me why I think that’s a problem. Well gee, if it were just one beer, cigarette, candy bar, crack pipe or whatever a day, would you think it was a problem? The fact that I have to have it or I’ll go through massive withdrawal headaches because it affects my blood chemistry should be enough reason. I don’t like things that have control over me and I resent having to pop an Excedrin or make a special trip to the store to get a caffeinated beverage to avoid the withdrawal pain.

I’m not really sure when my problem with caffeine began, but I’d venture to guess that it started sometime during the college years when my recreational use of some type of stimulant was a daily occurrence. I’m sure most alcoholics or drug addicts started out as recreational users because it made them feel good. Coffee makes me feel good. I enjoy the aroma, taste and added energy boost it gives me. Besides it’s socially acceptable to drink coffee and I can quit using whenever I want, right?

Well see, that’s the problem. I can quit, but staying off it is the challenge. I have quit countless times only to re-addict myself time and time again. You’d think the withdrawal pain would be enough incentive to keep me off it forever, but it’s not. It would be much easier if there were some social stigma associated with it that would shame me into staying clean.

Personally, I think Starbucks is secretly creating a generation of addicts as a way controlling our consumer behavior and raking in the profits. We mindlessly start each morning with a trip to the drive thru to give us the jump start we think we need each day. They’ve got us all fooled, ha ha. They’re just like the department stores that fooled us into thinking that Christmas is about Santa and Easter about the Easter Bunny. They’ve deceived us into spending our hard earned money on gift buying and entertaining rather than spending quiet time with our loved ones and focusing on what the holiday is really about.

Do you like the way I didn’t take responsibility for my own addiction and blamed it on Starbucks? I obviously haven’t gotten to the step in my recovery process where you take personal responsibility for your actions. I guess that’s probably why I’m still drinking coffee.

Maybe Tamales Aren’t So Bad After All

Today I had the good fortune to travel to New York City to meet with some dear friends from San Diego, AJ and DB, who were visiting their daughter, JB for the holidays. JB took us to one of her favorite Venezuelan restaurants called Caracas and we enjoyed a variety of good food, none of which I could pronounce or remember the name of. Everything we ate was wonderfully delicious and the wait staff was friendly and attentive. I thoroughly enjoyed this culinary experience along with being in the company of great friends.

One of our appetizers (again, I have no idea what the name of it was) consisted of little balls of dough stuffed with hot cheese. The appetizer arrived at our table in a cornhusk lined bowl containing a mound of these tasty treats. JB gave us detailed instructions on how to spread the dough balls open to cool them off , where to squeeze on the mysterious Venezuelan yellow sauce and when to dab them in a tasty white dipping sauce before popping them into our mouths. The appetizer was very tasty indeed and I was thankful for her instructions which allowed me to experience the full flavor of the scrumptious delight.

After we polished off the dough balls, I innocently asked, “Who’s going to eat the cornhusk?” To which AJ replied, “you don’t eat the cornhusk, that would be like eating the cornhusk off a tamale.” My response was “oh, you’re not supposed to eat the corn husk? That would probably explain why I really, really don’t like tamales.” AJ gave me one of those quizzical looks. You know the one that tries to decipher whether or not you’re telling the truth. I assured her that I do in fact eat the cornhusk and do not care for the taste or texture of it and can never understand why anyone would think tamales taste good. AJ immediately erupted into hysterical laughter while her husband DB gave me a brief explanation on how the cornhusk is used to hold the tamales together during the cooking process.

Now, a lot of people have seen me attempt to eat tamales over the years and you would think at least one of them would have had the courtesy to tell me that the corn husk is just a wrapper and not to eat it. So, maybe tamales aren’t so bad after all? You can be sure that the next time I’m in San Diego, I’ll go out for tamales with AJ and DB just to see what they’re really supposed to taste like.

Thank you AJ, DB and JB for a wonderful afternoon in NYC and for educating me. JB, you’re a gracious host and I’m glad I got to spend some time with you along with your folks. Your appetizer instructions were great, where were you when I attempted to eat my first tamale?

Just out of curiosity, am I the only one who it didn't occur to to eat a tamale in any other form other than 'as is'? Generally, mexican food doesn't have to be unwrapped, unless of course, you eat at Taco Bell in which case everything needs to be unwrapped before eating. BTW, if you decide to eat a tamale with the cornhusk still attached, adding lots of salsa will not improve the taste.