OMG, I Caught a Mouse!

Disturbed by the knowledge of having a rodent residing in my house, I set out on a quest to evict the unwanted tenant. I went to Home Depot to acquire my weapon of choice. Not having waged war against a rodent before, I was overwhelmed by the various methods of extermination. I spent quite a long time analyzing the pros and cons of each enticement system before making my choice. The first method was to leave bits of tasty treats laced with poison throughout the house. This didn’t seem like a good option because I envisioned the little creature eating the poison and crawling back to its nesting place to die. The stench of decaying rodent didn’t appeal to me. Likewise, the second method of destruction was snapping its little head into an old-school mousetrap. The thought of having to clean up mouse guts seemed better than the stench option, but still not desirable. The third method of eradication was to lay down pads of tape for the mouse to adhere itself to. I had a difficult time trying to understand the philosophy behind this method. Is it supposed to be more humane? If so, then what are you supposed to do with the mouse once it’s stuck to the tape pad? Are you supposed to pry it from the tape and let it go? That would mean having to touch a live mouse and risk getting bit. Or are you supposed to wait for the mouse to die and then toss the tape pad, mouse and all? If that’s the case, that seems like a slow, unpleasant way for the mouse to die and who knows how long that could take. Needless to say, I opted for the fourth method which was a small plastic box that traps the mouse inside it.

Shortly after supper I could hear my foe in the kitchen nibbling on something. I determined that the sound was coming from beneath the refrigerator. I nervously got on my hands and knees and shined a flashlight in its direction hoping to spy the little defiant beast, taunting me with its bold gnawing. Since I knew where it was, I took the mousetrap, laced it with peanut butter and placed it in front of the refrigerator, daring my little adversary to enter. I went to the living room and waited for my opponent to fall for the bait. Moments later I could hear the sound of the plastic trap moving across the floor. I quickly ran into the kitchen. I must have caught my rival off guard because for a brief second we both froze and stared at each other. As quickly as my enemy ran back under the refrigerator, I ran back into the living room with my heart pounding in fear. After I calmed my nerves, I had to laugh at myself for being afraid of such a tiny thing. I have to admit, the little guy was quite cute and I was happy that I opted for the box method. Within minutes the mouse had returned to the box and had trapped itself inside. It made quite a clammer trying to free itself.

Now the smart thing to do would have been to go directly to the woods and release it at once. However I didn’t do that because I was not willing to go outside in the freezing temperatures and walk a couple hundred yards into the woods. Who knows what animal could be lurking in the woods in the darkness of night. So I went to bed and left the little mouse in the box all night. I have to admit, I thought the mouse would eventually tire in its efforts to gain freedom, but not so.


Having been deprived of sleep from the mouse’s boisterous attempts at escape all night, I arose before sunrise to shower and dress before readying myself for my trek into the woods. I waited for the sun to rise before I snatched the trap containing the noisy little fur ball and headed outdoors. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t state that my heart was pounding in anticipation of having to slide open the cover and let it escape. I was imagining the horrors that could unfold. What if the little creature freaked out and climbed up my leg? What would I do if it bit me? My hands trembled slightly with fear as I gently slid open the cover and jumped back to watch. A little head with bulging eyes immediately peered out and stared at me. A split second later my peanut butter covered houseguest ran beneath some leaves next to a nearby tree. I scraped out the remaining peanut butter from the box and left it as house-warming gift.

So, who was the ultimate victor in the mouse war? Only time will tell. If the little critter invited friends, I’d have to give the victory to the mouse, as I would eventually have to recruit outside help. As for today, I declare myself to be the Supreme Conqueror and Commander of this house.