Spinning Thoughts

Recently, I’ve started attending a spin class at the local gym. I consider myself a novice in this sport and am still trying to decide whether or not it’s a sport for me. For those of you not familiar with spinning, it’s an aerobic exercise class where a group of people sit on specially designed stationary bikes, while listening to motivating music as an instructor yells out directions to the riders to simulate outdoor riding. The goal of the class is to burn calories and tone muscles, which seems like something I ought to be doing.

I thought I’d share what I actually think about while I’m on the bike.

While adjusting the bike:

“Okay, I can do this. This will be fun. I’m going to get in great shape.”

“Lord, help me to stay on the bike for the full hour.”

“Did I adjust this thing right? The people next to me seem to be peddling easier than me.”

“Geez, this classroom is cold, maybe I should have brought a sweatshirt.”

While warming up:

“I hope the instructor isn’t a masochist.”

“Come on legs, loosen up, you’ll feel better in a couple of minutes. Just keep peddling.”

“So far, so good. This isn’t so bad.”

5 minutes into the class:

“Phew, I’m starting to get hot already. Did someone turn off the air conditioning?”

“Is the clock on the wall broken? Surely, I’ve been riding for more than 5 minutes.”

“How come the people sitting next to me look so happy? Is there something going on that I’m not aware of?”

10 minutes into class:

Instructor: “Okay class, now that we’ve warmed up, are you ready to get started and have some fun?!”

Class: “Whahoo, yeah!”

“That was just the warm up? How can they think this is fun? This is work and I’m hot, sweaty and ready to get off already. Uh oh, I still have 50 minutes left.”

Random thoughts during class:

“I wonder if anyone has ever passed out in class? Will I be the first? Has anyone ever died while spinning?”

“I think my instructor may actually be insane.”

“I’ve been peddling for a ½ hour now and I’m still in the same spot!”

“Oh wow, I can’t remember the last 15 minutes. Did I have an out of body experience that I don’t remember?

“Who’s that 80 year old lady, smiling and singing to the music and having a great time on the bike? Hey, she’s peddling faster than me and doesn’t even look tired. Clearly she has dementia and doesn’t know where she is right now.”

“How fast can the human heart beat before it has a heart attack? Is my instructor CPR certified?”

“If you ask me to increase the resistance again, I’m gonna come over there and push you off your bike. You’re not human!”

“My legs are heavy and feel like jello and my lungs are going to explode! I wonder what exploding lungs look like?”

“Does anyone else in this class feel as bad as I do right now? I’m really not having any fun.”

“What is wrong with that stinking clock?! This class has been going on for two hours already. The instructor better cut it off at 60 minutes because I’m not spinning one more minute than I have to.”

“It’s really freaking hot in here. You people are sucking up all my air. Stop breathing so hard.”

During the cool down period:

“You can do this, just 5 more minutes.”

“I hope my legs don’t give out when I get off the bike. That would be really embarrassing.”

“Are my endorphins broken? I really don’t feel energized right now.”

Class over:

“I’m still alive. Yeah!”

“Why am I doing this?”