Bee Chronicles – Part 3. One, Two, Three, Ready or Not, Here I Come

Where are you hiding little bees? You must be somewhere close because Scout is very agitated with my search. His supersonic flybys have become more frequent. Maybe the best approach is to sit and observe for a while. Sooner of later one of you are bound to get impatient and give up your secret hiding place. I must admit, your incredible speed makes it nearly impossible for me to see where you’re coming from. However, I noticed that you seem to disappear somewhere around the deck railings.

What’s that I see, wood shavings? What sneaky little buggers you are. You drilled your holes beneath the railing so I wouldn’t see the entrances to your hives. Wow, there are a lot of holes! You’ve drilled holes around the entire perimeter of the railing, the deck table and chair. There are a lot more of you than I originally thought.

Bee Chronicles – Part 2. Who’s Really in Control of My Patio?

Carpenter bees I’ve discovered are territorial little buggers and can be quite aggressive when their space has been infringed upon. Before I head outside I scan the patio hoping to catch a glimpse of any would be dive-bombers. Oddly enough I never see any attack bees until I step foot outside the sliding glass door. I think they have quite sophisticated little bee radar and are secretly spying on me. Luckily, the most I’ve seen at any one time is four. Generally, there’s only one or two bee scouts to greet me. I’ve learned that intimidation is the scout’s preferred method of trying to get rid of me. They fly within a couple of feet of my head and try to stare me down. If that doesn’t work, they wait for me to get distracted and look away. Then at supersonic speeds they buzz within inches of my head, making me think that they’re going to hurt me. Well, I’m not intimidated by their intense stares or close flybys, but they are definitely intimidated by my swats.

Bee Chronicles – Part 1. What are Those Flying Buzz Saws?

Until recently, I never heard of carpenter bees. The first time I saw one, I thought it was a bumblebee on steroids and then I began to wonder if it was even a bee at all. The flying pests attacked but never stung.

As I was discussing my fascination of these mutant flying insects to a friend of mine, she quite matter of factly told me they were carpenter bees. Carpenter bees, did I hear right? What does a carpenter have to do with bees? Don’t bees like flowers?

I was told they are called carpenter bees because they make their nests by tunneling in wood. Cool, first mice, now bee termites.

Human Dominates Creepy Things

Since moving to New England each new season has brought it’s own unique battle with creatures I haven’t been accustomed to dealing with in a very long time. I’m happy to say that I am utterly victorious in each of these battles. Five creepy and flying things I’ve taken dominion over are:

1. Mice – a.k.a. poaching fur balls. Although cute and furry, I preferred not to have them as roommates, especially since the freeloaders ate my food and stayed up all night making noise. Sadly for them, I had to give five of them a permanent eviction from life as well as my house. See mousecapades for further details.

2. Carpenter Bees – a.k.a. flying buzz saws. Fortunately, I didn’t have to a extinguish these outside housemates. We came to a mutual understanding of who was really in control of the back patio. On the few occasions when they tested my authority, a gentle swat with my bible was all I needed to get them under control. I have to say, their little bug brains are quick learners.

3. Mosquitoes – a.k.a. flying, itchy, lymes. I’ve taken to squashing every mosquito I see and declaring my body to be a mosquito, tick, spider, bee, and poison ivy free zone.

4. Ticks – a.k.a. blood-sucking, hard-to-smash, defiant specks. Four ticks in one day was enough for the rest of my life. I haven’t seen one since I made that statement. However I still have the hickey the first tick left on my neck two weeks ago.

5. Brown Snakes – a.k.a. garden-dwelling, insect-eating, sunbathing, giant worms. Pretty harmless and easy to kill. Stick a pitchfork in the ground….voila, snake kabob!