Is Victory Near?

Having completely cut off the enemy’s food supply and taken out 3 of its leaders, it appears as though the enemy is starting to weaken. Morale seems low. I’m not hearing any of their all night partying anymore. Likewise, they’re not leaving any indication of having a presence in the kitchen. However, they continue to hold territory in the basement and that is where I’ll concentrate my next attack.

I regret that I will be suspending my reports on the war scene until a more significant event occurs or total victory is declared.

Thoughts About My First Kill(s)

(WARNING: This blog contains graphic material that may not be suitable for the faint of heart)

I often wonder what goes through a soldier’s mind after he experiences his first kill. Does he feel remorse? Does it get any easier the more he does it?

I thought about what was going through my mind this morning as I anticipated seeing my first casualties. I have to admit that my very first thought was “Lord, I need a husband to take care of this for me.” Sorry to all you women’s rights activists, but this activity falls in the ‘man’s job’ category. The gross-out factor is not befitting for a lady.

I nervously walked down to the basement to catch a glimpse of my WMDs. A glimpse was all I needed to get an idea of what I was up against. After a quick gander at the WMDs I went back upstairs to mentally prepare myself for the casualty removal task at hand. While preparing myself, I meditated on the fact that I just took the life of a living creature, albeit a rodent, but still, I was the one who contributed to its demise. Honestly, I thought I’d feel bad about it, but instead I felt angry and triumphant. I was angry at the little beasts for pushing me to the point of violence, yet I rejoiced at their calamity. In my anger, I thought for a brief second about hanging the dead mice by their tails as a deterrent to any other mice that might be in the area. You know, like they did in the bible to discourage their opponents. I quickly dismissed the idea because I don’t like smelly, rotten things, and more importantly, I’d have to actually touch the corpse to do it. Now, if I had a husband…he could do it.

So, how do I really feel? ”Die, I’m going to kill every last one of you filthy, little monsters. And, I will not relent until you’re completely gone, ha ha! (evil laugh)" Gosh, did I say that out loud? Isn’t it funny how your enemies can bring the worst out in you? Your friends can too, but I’ll save that discussion for another blog.

In the meantime, I’ve managed to place a call in for reinforcements. I’ll continue to hold down the fort until they arrive. I am armed with reusable WMDs and plenty of Jif. I know I can do it!

I hope the left-wing animal rights activists don’t get a hold of what’s going on in this household because I don’t want any more trouble. Besides, I have God’s permission to rule over “…every creepy thing that creeps on the earth.” (Gen 1:26 ESV)



Okay, so maybe I was a little overzealous about my opponent's most unfortunate outcome. A special thanks goes out to Sully, who so brilliantly told me to place the traps along the walls. FYI, that’s how mice like to travel, it makes them feel secure.

There will be Casualties in Time of War

I have a friend named Sully who read about my predicament and called to give me expert advise as she has vast experience in dealing with mice behavior from working in the biomedical research industry. I was told to stop feeding my enemy, as I will only end up recruiting more for the other side. She also informed me that it has been discovered that mice have found their way back ‘home’ after being as far away as 18 km. Now, I’m not about to take my captives for a ride to the next town over in the middle of a cold winter evening, so I’ve decided to change my tactics.

Sometimes in warfare it becomes necessary to use Weapons of Mass Destruction. Generally, I’m opposed to the use of such force but there are certain situations that make the use WMDs appropriate. After all, wasn’t it God who told Moses and Joshua to utterly destroy their enemies? It was only when they failed to annihilate them that they faced problems down the road. I made the mistake of having a merciful heart for my opponent. I’m convinced that mouse #1 recruited more mice in the woods and directed them to my home. Well, I've put on my war paint and am prepared to use any means necessary to defend my territory.

Mice Chronicles - Part 4

Not having heard back from my landlord, I had to fend for myself for yet another day. No big deal, this has become ridiculously easy, or so I thought. Much to my dismay, I looked into the trap this morning and to my surprise it contained no peanut butter and no mouse. How the heck did that happen, I wondered. I carefully inspected the trap and noticed that the little monster had eaten through the piece of plastic that held the trap door open, making it able to climb over the trap door and gain its freedom.




Judging by the size of the droppings and the hole, it can only mean one thing – babies!